How to Lead a Happier Life: Improve Your Happiness!

How to lead a happier life is a question many of us ask themselves. I know I do! Being happy seems to be hard. Many people feel unhappy in general. Or at least face many unhappy situations in their everyday life like at work, in relationships, when facing health issues, etc.

In my life I often wondered how to reach a state of happiness instead of feeling miserable all the time. My life wasnât easy. I had a horror childhood so my start in life wasnât very perfect! As a child I felt very unhappy. There were happy moments for sure, like when I was with my grandma. She was the most loving and important person in my life. She died when I was 17 years old. I was so angry, the only Angel in my life was gone. I felt unhappy and lived like this for many years.

Now Iâm 43 years and through the years I learned so much. I want to share my How to lead a happy life tips with you. Because I know what it feels like to be unhappy, to feel miserable, depressed, etc.! And I wish I knew in my early twenties what I know right now! Of course Iâm not ALWAYS happy, but even in the unhappy moments I can connect with my inner strength. Even though Iâm very happy now, I keep on asking searching for ways to lead an even more happy and fulfilling life! I keep on learning, improving myself never stops. I see myself as an eternal life student at the University of life. It never stops as perfection doesnât exist. At least that's the way I see it. So I keep on wondering, asking questions and above all: enjoying the journey on my way to answers (which of course bring in new questions!).

Is Happiness Your Own Choice?

I experienced happy moments when in was in my twenties, but in general I felt insecure, ugly, I hated myself! And I blamed other people for it! At that time I was convinced of the fact that other people made me unhappy. Happiness seemed to be something that was outside myself. I was convinced of the fact that external factors were responsible. Like not having enough money, the weather (no matter what it was like!), being sick, not having enough friends, being in miserable jobs, I even blamed my monthly periods from time to time...

I read dozens of books about how to lead a happier life. My heroes are most definitely autors like The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Joseph Murphy, Iyanla Vanzant, Doreen Virtue, John Gray, Neal Donal Walsch and many more. You name it and I read it! I participated in many (expensive!) workshops to learn how to lead a happy and fulfilling life. I meditated, went in therapy, wrote in my many journals (my secret treasures!), discussed the topic with friends, etc. And still I wasn't able to feel happier! This made me so angry! So what I did was (of course) blaiming others... I thought the authors were wrong , the teachers were only after my money, the meditations were worthless and so on...

I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy!

Needless to say that my life used to be a huge negative circle at that time, resulting in even more drama! Looking back I feel so sorry for the person I was at that time! I felt so miserable, so depressed, and by thinking that being happy was a matter of good luck or so, I made things worse! Can you imagine what my life looked like? You don't want to know! It might make you feel down and sad, and that is definitely not the intention of my lens! But maybe what I learned from it, the insights I found (I did learn and grow!) might inspire you on how to lead a happier life!

What I learned through the years was that nobody else and no situation in my life is responsible for my happiness in life. Even if there is a lot of misery in my life this doesn't need to hold me back from feeling good and staying centered!

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Read My Personal Story!

If you don't feel content with yourself and/or your life there might be many reasons for it. As for me, my unhappy thoughts were a result of my childhood. I'm a survivor of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I had a 'mother from hell', she didn't want me in the first place. And she told me all the time. On the age of only 3 years old I was often told that I was to blame for her aches, when she felt sick I caused it, and more of those sick statements you shouldn't tell your child. Instead of being a loving mother she hurted me, confused me and gave me the feeling I was a failure in the first place. Untill the age of 7 she was married to my father (I'm not even sure if this man is my real father, but that's another story) who was an alcoholic and a Jehova Wittness. He beated me up telling me I was a child of Satan. I will spare you the further (ugly) details.

After my mother threw my father out of the house my so called "new daddy" arrived the same day! He was the one that sexually abused me for many years (untill I was 13). The only light in my life was my grandmother (and my grandfather). She was the mother I needed so much. If she wouldn't have been in my life I don't think I would have survived.

At school I was bullied, so I didn't feel safe anywhere! The world through my eyes was a very scary and unwelcome place. I felt very miserable, afraid of everything, not good enough and always nervous and insecure. I wasn't good enough, was what I thought. I didn't ask myself how to lead a happier life back then! I wanted to dissappear from this planet!

When I was 13 years a good thing happend. I was placed out of the house by the department of Child Protection. They placed me in a clinic. This wasn't easy but at least I was safe! I lived there for about 3 years when I went living on my own. I still was a sad little bird and a year after that my dear grandmother passed away from cancer. I really wanted to take my life by then, but I didn't!

I'm sharing this with you not because I want you to feel sad for me, but to give insight in how feeling unhappy can be caused and above all: that leading a happy life after so much trauma is still possible! It wasn't strange I felt so bad. And it also wasn't strange that I blamed other people/situations! You know, the message I got from my parents was that I was the cause of their misery! Which resulted in feeling guilty I was living on this planet anyway. My parents taught me that you should blame other people for the fact you're sick, unhappy, miserable, you broke your leg, the house was a mess, the food was spilled, etc. Do you get it? I hope you understand what I mean, because this insight is so important! I got this example and thought it was "normal" to blame others for my own pain.

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I'm strong believer of the fact that I am a student at the University called life. And so are you. By exchanging out life lessons and situations we can be each others teacher as well. So the student becomes the teacher and vice versa. Ain't that amazing! You might become my teacher too by sharing what you did/are doing to improve your life! Or ask your questions, please do. Feel safe and welcome!

If you want to learn how to lead a happy lifestyle you need to stop blaming others, situations, the world, etc. for the fact that you don't feel good about your life! I had to do this. It was a process that took many years of working on myself, counseling, therapy, reading, facing life challenged and much more. It wasn't easy but I did it. I now know I am fully responsible for what my life is like in the present moment. The past is in the past, I'm a grown up now (at least I hope I am...) and can't stick to what happened to me long time ago. I might feel bad when someone hurts me in everyday life, but this doesn't mean that this person is responsible for my happiness!

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Full of Joy or Boring and Depressing?

How do you feel when your alarm rings to tell you another day has started. Are you full of joy or are you feeling depressed because you have to go to work/school? Do you love what you do in daily life or is your job monotonous and boring? Do you hate your collegues/your boss? You can't wait till your next day off is there right? Do you consider it possible to change your situation in this area of your life? Perhaps you think changing jobs is your only way out. And this thought makes you panic, in this economy getting a new job is not easy. Well, I have good news for you: you DON'T need another job to become a happy worker!

All it takes from you is commitment. Time for action! The only person that can make a change is you and nobody else but you so let's go for it! Are you ready?

Do you feel hopeless about your non inspiring job?

You are not alone! And it takes only a few small adjustments to spice up your situation at work! Here are a few suggestions that I applied in my life and were really successful!

Improve your working skills!

Make it your intention to become the best you can be in your working area.

For example: if you work as a nurse intend to become the best nurse ever. What

skills do you need to reach this goal? Read new books! Take classes and

specialize yourself! Challenge yourself! Be creative.

Improve the relationship with your collegues!

Getting social with your collegues at work helps to find more joy and

fulfillment in your job. Be open and honest, share your thoughts, ask questions,

show interest in their personal situations! Be a great listener, your collegues

will appreciate it and it improves the work ethos!

Talk with your manager/boss!

Do you feel stuck? Talk about it with your manager/boss. Together you can

explore what he/she can do for you to help you! Do you want more or less

challenge? Discuss the posibilities and you'll be surprised! Don't be afraid.

Your manager/boss is there for you, it's his job to help you improve and feel

better on the working floor. He/she might even appreciate it and see it as a

sign YOU take your job serious!

Make a list of all positive aspects of your job!

It is a proven fact that what you focus on will grow, so encourage yourself.

Write down all cool, nice aspects about your job. What is your passion? What

motivates you? Now re-read this list and see if it pulls a smile on your

beautiful face!

Are you looking forward to go to your job/school on Monday Morning?

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Life is simple, if you pay close attention to the tips in this video and apply them in your daily life, you already make a change! Great quotes!

Focus on Positive Things!

Close your eyes for a moment. If you could do whatever you wanted in life, what would it look like? What would you do to make your life perfect? What if there were no limitations?

Write a story about your perfect limitless life. How do you feel? What does your life look like? What would you love to do in the morning after getting out of bed? How do you fill your days. What people will suround you? What kind of things would you eat/drink and what would you avoid? Remember in this exercise there are NO limits, so imagine you have an abundance of everything. Be very specific. Describe all your actions, your emotions, the tastes, smells, colors, etc. Dare to dream and explore your mind!

Focus on the positive: so if you now focus on illness turn it around and state you are a healthy person, describe this in the story you are working on. If your now focus on annoying people in your life turn it around and see yourself having the ideal relationhip with them, describe exactly the way YOU want it to be. Avoid negative statements, so skip the don'ts out of your vocabulary!

Write as much as you can about the life of your dreams. Buy a special and very beautiful notebook for this goal and keep it with you if you want to continue writing. A good question to start with for me is always 'How do i lead a happy life?' This strategy is called 'mindmapping'. In other words: you reorganize your brains/way of thinking/feeling. It is important to complete this task before you continue with the next step. Grant yourself this personal time. Schedule time if you're a busy person. Do it now! There is always time, even if it's only 10 minutes a day, but most probably you can find more time. Even if it means you have to get up (half) an hour earlier!

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And Keep on Moving!

My intention is living the life of my dreams and although I realize I haven't reached the final destination yet I know in which direction I walk the path of life. And so can you. It helps you to feel happier and more satisfied with all you do/have in life. So it is important to have a clear picture of your destination. And I can say from my own experience that there is no such thing as a 'final destination'. I set myself goals, reach the ending point and when I do new exciting destinations pop up in my mind. I love that because it means life keeps on moving. While traveling my road and enjoying the traveling I learn a lot and keep on improving. I'm never done and I hope you won't be too!

I set big and small destinations. Like a small one could be: I want to clean up my house, clear clutter, attend a workshop, etc. The bigger ones are broader and take more time like: being more loving, writing a book, becoming even more happy, etc.

Whar I usually do is start with the small destinations. So if I want to reach clearing clutter I intent to do this before the holliday begins, by the end of the week, or so. I set myself a clear dead line and that helps me. I can be pretty chaotic from time to time so this strategy if working for me. See for yourself if it works for you too. Working with clear goals is important. And the goals should help you on your way towards happiness! All smaller and bigger destinations are part of my journey towards how to lead a happier life, towards living the life of my dreams. All steps I take must feel good!

Then I focus on the bigger picture, my dream life story, the ideal reality I want to reach in my life! And I wonder what steps I need to take to make it a reality! I see this as the guide to my ideal reality.

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Cute cartoon like video with tips on how to make your life happier, it puts a smile on my face every time I watch this!

Believe in Yourself!

On my way learning how to lead a happy and fulfilling life it is really important I keep on believing in myself! I know deep down I CAN DO IT! And so can you! Believing in yourself and the fact that you can realize whatever dream life you desire is 50% of the steps on the way to your biggest destination! The other 50% is sticking to your goal and taking all necessary steps. Staying motivated is not always easy. I am a human being like you, I have my good and bad days in life. The challenge for me is to stay motivated whatever happens! And I'm getting better at it every single day. If I have a hard time finding my motivation I go search for things that make me happy like my dogs for example! Or music I love. If it helps me feel better it is good and you can do the same!

I know it takes a lot of self confidence to learn how yo lead a happier life, you need to love yourself. I struggled with this for many years. One of the books that really helped me was "How to heal your life" written by Louise Hay. It was a life transforming book for me!

I takes courage to make a change. Sometimes I face scary situations, instead of running away I dive into them so the fear goes away and I overcame another block on the road. Set it as your intention too not to avoid what scares you. If I can do it, so can you (and I can so there is no reason why you can't do the same!)

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Giving up What No Longer Serves You!

I have learned throughout the years that I only can reach my dreams and goals if I am willing to make sacrifices! I am like everybody else and face things, people, situations etc. in life that no longer serve my goals, that no longer make me happy. But I find it hard to let go. In such areas I sacrifice, so I give up to get loads in return! Try it out! Maybe you freak out by the idea, but there is no need to. Take your time, take small steps, as long as it feels good. Remember that the road to a happier life is not an easy one. You will face many challenges and you must be willing to learn from them, to work hard, even if you don't want to. Keep the final goal in mind and you'll do great. I don't like all I do, but I need to. For example I had to give up sugar... and I was a big sugar addict. So I didn't like that but still I did, because I know that sugar is so bad for my health and energy in general!

You must be willing to change!

Focus on the pleasure and many happy feelings you get when dream about the ideal life you want to reach. That is a big motivator! Don't stick to the old, but reach for the new better me is what I focus on. And you know, improving myself is fun and hard at the same time. As long as I am willing to change things go very well!!!

Being patient

For me personally I think this is the most difficult one. Patience is not my strongest quality, so this is work in progress so to say. If it were up to me I would already 'be there' but that is just not possible. It takes many steps and actions, some take real slow, I hate that but others are real quick so that compensates and gives me faith the stuff that takes longer will become successful too!

Enjoy the present moment!

All I have got in my life is the present moment. The future isn't a fact yet. I'm working on how to lead a happier life, and try to give it all to suround myself with happy feelings, clearing blocks on the road, overcoming difficulties, and becoming stronger every single moment. I LOVE life right now, even when I have my down moments! Life is good as it is and I improve with every single successful step I take. I keep on exercising because I don't believe in failure, this is really not an option. No matter what it takes to reach a goal, I am willing to do it. If you want to be successful so should you. Simple :)

You live right now, you're not dead, so don't wait untill your ideal life is reality, start living and enjoy your (baby)steps. Feel grateful for all the beauty that is present in your life. I do that, I write about it. I read about it. I practize it!

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