The gift of fear: Do scary things!

At some point in life we are all confronted with our fears. You do, I do, your neighbors do, your teacher does, and you know what: the gift of fear is priceless! Fear as a gift? Yes! Fear can be your best friend in life. Sounds strange? Maybe! In general people are used to avoid what we're afraid of. We prefer our comfort zone, because it feels safe and secure. But is this the ideal situation? What is so challenging about leading a predictable life? Personally I think life is very boring if we continue living that way.

Our mission in life is to learn. Learning new things enriches your life. However if you stay where you are and always do the same things you won't learn a thing. It's like you're in some sort of 'standby modus'. You won't experience anything new, you always meet up with the same people, go to the same places and even perhaps eat the same meals.

Are you living safely in your comfort zone? Perhaps it's a good idea to step out and do something scary so you can experience the gift of fear for yourself!

Photo Credit: Surviving Survivalism

Life without taking risks is not very fulfilling! It is boring and doesn't motivate you to explore new areas in life. Most people live life this way. Taking risks means you step into the unknown, an unpredictable world where you don't know what to expect. This scares a lot of people. It makes them feel insecure. And that is exactly why most people avoid scary situations and don't see the gift of fear. When you don't confront yourself with fear you will never know the value it has!

Avoiding risks can be useful, for example in dangerous situations. Think about driving your car safely, don't let your children play with fire, keeping your finances in order, etc. It is only common sense if you don't take risks there. Taking risks is not meant to lead to life threatening situations!

In many other cases choosing the safe way isn't as rewarding as it might look like. Living a life without risks is based on fear. Or better said: the fear of fear. Because we don't know the outcome of new somewhat risky situations we're afraid, even if we don't know what is exactly is we're afraid of! That is what I mean with 'the fear of fear'. It's the fear itself that scares us most! Often we are paralyzed by fear!

It is an interesting fact that the best things in life often scare the hell out of us. For example: Traveling around the world, speaking in public, meeting new people, being successful and so on.

Deep down inside we want the best things in life. It is like bungee jumping: you're about to jump from a very high height, you want to do it, but you are also afraid. You're almost certain your jump will be safe, but still...

Imagine yourself in that situation. What would you do: risk the jump and have a great new experience, a risky jump into an unknown adventure... or would you let the fear rule you and would you stay where you are? What do you think is most rewarding?

If you let fear guide you it is definitely not a gift, but pure torture. You miss out on great chances! But if you have the courage to take the jump, the risk, your fear becomes your best friend. That is the gift of fear. Your fear becomes your best friend, because if you face it, it offers you the unique opportunity to use your inner strength to overcome it!

Deep down inside we all have things we are are attracted to, but we postpone doing them, because we're unsure, afraid of what the outcome will be. But the secret desire is still there! Perhaps you want to travel around the world, build your own business, pick up a new study, move to another place or even another country. But you worry about it, our unconscious mind is constantly working. That nasty little voice telling you you should stay where you are, because what if you lose it all... Sounds familiar?

The first step to face your fears is to recognize them, to be aware of the fact that your fears withhold you from following your dreams! Acknowledge that this is going on in your mind, observe your thoughts and what it feels like. Nothing more and nothing less. Don't judge, simply be aware of their presence.

Photo Credit: Vimeo

Overcoming your fear(s) is fun, even if you don't think it is right now. Perhaps the idea freaks you out. Don't worry, you are not the only one! In my life I went through a lot of fear. Most of the fear I went through was irrational, based on nothing. Some of the fear was a left over from my past. But didn't serve me anymore. Parts of my life have been a real nightmare!

When I was 15 years old I had an art teacher, she was a lovely lady. I trusted her a lot and I shared a lot of what was going on in my life. I was very scared and nervous. She made a change for me by giving me a book written by Tharthang Tulku, a Tibetan Nyingma Lama, called 'Openness Mind'. It was about our inner fears and how to overcome them. His teachings were (and still are) so very wise and I picked them up. I will always be grateful for his teachings!

He taught me that it starts with getting real and being honest, don't fight the fear but accept its presence. Fear is part of the ego, something we created, the ego has nothing to do with who we really are. There were several meditation exercises in his book on how to face what you're afraid of. One of them I loved: you imagine your fear getting bigger and bigger like blowing up a balloon until it explodes... your fear is gone.... flying in the air split in thousands of small pieces!

Do you agree the gift of fear is the best thing that can happen to you?

Not only Tarthang Tulku was an important teacher in my life, there were many more. Fear isn't gone in a minute, it is an ongoing learning process and so it was for me. You need to work on it and I love it now! I hope I can help you by sharing some useful tools to overcome your fears. The gift of fear comes in multiple ways.

Give it a name

First there is acceptance, that's the starting point: I admitted I was scared. Becoming aware of what you're afraid of is very important. What I did was write it all down in a journal. The small and the big fears. It was my 'Warrior Journal', because my intention was overcoming all of them. I started small. I was afraid of sleeping in the dark and always had a light on during the night. So that was my first one: I turned of the light and did breathing and meditation exercises. I gave my fear of the dark a name and talked out loud to her like it was a person bothering me. That is a real fun thing to do, you can do the same: give your fear a name and talk to this imaginary 'person'.

Write down your fears, categorize them from mild to severe. Start working on 1 or 2 mild ones, those are easy to overcome! Think about what you need to make it a success, for me that was meditation, but maybe you have other ways that work for you!

Write down what is holding you back and why. Think about all possible solutions to do what you are afraid of. Be patient with yourself, you want it to succeed. And once you have experienced the glory of victory you want more! It feels so great to beat your inner monsters :-D

Make sure to celebrate your successes! Write them down and reward yourself! Give your self confidence a big boost! This is the gift of fear: you are so powerful, the fear was there to make you stronger, to grow and develop your inner strength! A gift from heaven!

Photo Credit: Flickr

Photo Credit: joshuamcafee

Once you have booked your first successes continue working on your fears! The things that scare you are a wonderful adventure! They teach you about the blocks on your road towards inner freedom. Clear these roads, don't stop. Become a brave warrior. Your life will be so much richer, you will feel more fulfilled and stronger. The gift of fear is priceless, once your fears don't scare you anymore you are on the right way! I wish you the best of luck.